I Was Supposed to Deliver Groceries… Somehow It Turned Into 5 Books 😂
Honey, I need you to understand something.
I was supposed to deliver groceries.
That was the arrangement.
Pick up groceries.
Put groceries in car.
Drive groceries to house.
Leave groceries.
Go home.
Simple.
Except apparently nobody explained that plan to THE GENERAL PUBLIC. 😂
Somewhere between grocery bags, strange delivery instructions, questionable porch situations and those moments where I got back into my car and just stared through the windshield...
I started collecting stories.
Not on purpose.
I wasn't driving around thinking,
“You know what this job needs? A five-book literary collection.”
Absolutely not.
I WAS TRYING TO GET SOMEBODY'S EGGS TO THEIR HOUSE WITHOUT BREAKING THEM.
But Honey...
the stories kept coming.
And coming.
And coming.
Until one day I looked around and realized:
I WROTE FIVE DANG BOOKS ABOUT THIS. 😂❤️
Welcome to The Grocery Delivery Diaries
This is my complete 5-book collection of funny grocery delivery and customer-service stories.
And when I say complete collection, I mean you're getting all five ebooks:
📚 I Dropped Off Groceries and Picked Up Trauma
📚 If My Thoughts Were Loud, I'd Be Fired
📚 I Almost Quit Mid-Delivery and Honestly… I Should Have
📚 There Is No Way This Is a Real Order
📚 I Didn't Even Go Inside… and That Was Enough
Altogether?
231 pages.
Two hundred and thirty-one pages documenting what happens when Mama T, grocery bags and the general public are allowed to interact without adult supervision.
😂
If You've Ever Worked With the Public, You're Going to Understand This
You don't have to be a grocery delivery driver to appreciate these stories.
You just need to have worked with PEOPLE.
Retail?
Come sit down.
Customer service?
Scoot your chair over here.
Restaurant worker?
Honey, you probably need the comfortable chair.
Delivery driver?
YOU GET THE RECLINER. 😂
Because anyone who has worked with the public knows there are actually two conversations happening during certain customer interactions.
The one coming out of your mouth:
“Of course! I'd be happy to help.”
And the one happening inside your head:
“MA'AM, WHAT IN THE SAM HILL ARE WE DOING?”
That second conversation?
That's where some of these books were born. 😂
The Groceries Were Never the Interesting Part
That's what surprised me.
I thought the stories would be about grocery delivery.
They weren't.
They were about PEOPLE.
The instructions.
The situations.
The things waiting at the house.
The orders that made me look at my phone twice.
The deliveries where one thing went wrong...
then another...
then another...
until I started wondering whether employment was really all society had cracked it up to be.
And then there were the porches.
Honey.
THE PORCHES.
Sometimes I didn't even have to knock on the door.
The outside of the house had already provided enough material for the day.
😂
These Aren't Cookbooks
I feel like we should establish this considering you're sitting here at Rustic Roots Pantry.
There are NO recipes in these books.
We are not cooking the groceries.
Frankly, after some of these deliveries, I was just happy to get the groceries out of my vehicle.
These are humorous short-story ebooks inspired by my experiences making customer grocery deliveries.
They are meant for laughing.
For relating.
For reading a couple of stories after a long day.
And especially for sending a passage to your coworker with:
“THIS IS US.”
😂❤️
Real Experiences, But People's Privacy Matters
While these stories are inspired by my grocery-delivery experiences, protecting people's privacy matters to me.
Identifying details may be changed, combined, generalized, omitted or fictionalized for privacy and storytelling.
The point isn't to embarrass somebody.
The funny part is the SITUATION.
And, quite frequently...
my reaction to it.
Because sometimes life hands you lemons.
And sometimes life hands you six grocery bags, confusing instructions and something standing on a porch that makes you reconsider every decision that brought you to that driveway.
😂
Why I Put All Five Together
Because once you read one, you're probably going to want to know:
“Okay, Mama T... WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?”
So I bundled the complete collection together.
Individually, the five ebooks have a combined value of $31.95.
The complete 5-book bundle is $19.99.
That's a savings of $11.96.
You get approximately 231 pages across all five digital ebooks.
And yes...
that's 231 pages proving that I apparently should have started carrying a notebook in the delivery car MUCH sooner.
😂❤️
Ready to Ride Along With Mama T?
👉 Grab the complete Grocery Delivery Diaries 5-Book Collection on Etsy
👉 https://rusticrootsbymamat.etsy.com/listing/4571360030/funny-grocery-delivery-stories-bundle-5
Want to see what else I've been creating?
Visit my RusticRootsByMamaT Etsy shop https://rusticrootsbymamat.etsy.com
One Last Thing Before You Go...
If you've ever finished dealing with the public...
walked back to your car...
closed the door...
put both hands on the steering wheel...
and sat there in complete silence trying to understand what in the world just happened...
Honey.
These books are for you.
😂❤️
Pull up a chair.
Or in this case...
GET IN THE CAR.
We've got groceries to deliver.
And judging by my track record?
SOMETHING IS ABSOLUTELY GOING TO HAPPEN.
Mama T ❤️